It’s a New Dawn

having a hard time finding my voice these past couple of weeks. in fact, i’ve found my own sense of quiet increasing, and like i alluded to in my last post, i also feel deeply withdrawn. withdrawn has a lot of negative connotation to it, and while my current state of being hasn’t exactly been a funtastic hootenanny, i don’t use the adjective to mean i’m headed for trouble. i do mean it like the way my sunflowers looked at the end of the season. heads droopy and dried, the job of the summer being done, every ounce of energy put forth into seed and all intention retreated into some place too small and hidden to be seen. i’m hibernating.

with the fall back of the clocks, nighttime arrives ridiculously early every evening. it’s 2pm and then suddenly like an hour later we are reading goodnight moon and then i gleefully embrace my “alone time” at the end of the day by yawning five times, watching another episode of ghost hound (!) and sneaking into bed by 8:30. yup, hip mama, that’s me.

8:30 isn’t that early when you wake up at 6a.m. Fern is cutting at least three teeth, and now has a cold and cough to boot, so she’s been needing a lot of extra mama time at night. as in, at 9p.m, 11, 1a.m., 3, 4, 5 and 6okfinei’llgetup.

it’s the going from horizontal to vertical that’s difficult, but once i’m up, it’s actually quite nice. yesterday, taking advantage of the alarming 70 degree weather before sunrise, fern and i went downstairs to tidy up the plants, clear out dead tomato branches, collect poppy pods, rip out zinnia skeletons and generally revitalize the growing space, to create room for winter ideas. while i did all that, fern, per usual, made a bee line for the creepiest, ickiest part of the garden she could find. in this case, it was the neatly stacked pile of empty pots, and their base container filled with rainwater (and slime! and micro-organisms! and who knows what’s living in there don’t put your hand in that AND ESPECIALLY DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH. i only said that in my head, and instead opted for exploration and curiosity unhampered by mommy micromanaging. except for the part about DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH, DO YOU WANT TO GET PARASITES..).

this morning i am trying out one of the ideas born out of The Incredible Shortage of Time that is the result of our recent schedule change. jeff got up with fern at the sticky-eyed, cotton-head hour of 5:45, and i get to use this time to write and email and research etc. if i can swing this wake-up time on a regular basis, the idea is maybe i could have a teeny tiny pocket a few times a week to blog or excercise or create miniature worlds full of little felt mice people or learn how to knit or create my etsy empire or become an ecotherapy genius….or maybe just have a cup of coffee unhampered by a 1 year old daredevil, trying to scale mommy mountain to stick her hand into the scalding lava vat of sweet and steamy morning brew.

do you have a morning ritual? if you are a mommy, how have you carved out your foot-holds of sanity?

it’s extra nice when my bleary eyes are rewarded with a sunrise like this.

have a good week lovers.

 

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6 thoughts on “It’s a New Dawn

  1. OMG – i LOVE the felt mice people! LOVE!
    I am a late-nite babe right now and not a mommy so cannot qualify to answer any question about anything earlier than 8 am.
    But i want you to know, Mary, I have collected a *lot* of dill seeds and am saving a bunch for you!

  2. I get up extra extra early in the morning so I can do my hair without someone hanging on my leg or banging on the shower door or threatening to pull down the flatiron or crying for milk or begging for morning tv or crying (did I mention I don’t do well with morning crying?! You just got up for chrissake and now you’re going to CRY???)…

    I also drink heavily. Of caffeine that is. Makes me feel like my day is ready to start. And makes me feel kind of grown-upish and independent of dependents before mayhem ensues.

  3. i know that withdrawn feeling. i am withdrawing and going straight into the closets. literally. my closets are getting combed. i am going deep into mother earth.

    i am so glad you linked to mouse world lady. i love her. and i know i have some friends who will too.

    morning ritual….i am lately, after having that sinus thing which made it impossible to sleep, getting up before other people in the house, and getting myself together a bit, in ways like making tea, feeding chickens, sometimes showering, but mostly just waking up for 10 or 20 or 30 minutes before the others. i find myself more easily that way, than when i am scrambling to wake up, and help evryone else wake up at the same time. not much of a ritual, but it is a new discovery, the getting up before the others thing. but i am just now, after almost 9 years of babies, to a point where i am mostly sleeping through the night. just now. i can just now get my ass out of bed before them without feeling like i am breaking some horrible natural law by doing so. but if you are getting up early, to get your solo time, that kind-of negates the breaking the law bit, cuz you’re getting something special in return.

  4. the idea is maybe i could have a teeny tiny pocket a few times a week to blog or excercise or create miniature worlds full of little felt mice people or learn how to knit or create my etsy empire or become an ecotherapy genius….or maybe just have a cup of coffee unhampered by a 1 year old daredevil, trying to scale mommy mountain to stick her hand into the scalding lava vat of sweet and steamy morning brew.

    i just wanted to come back and say how much i love that. all that. i am with you. i hope you learn to knit. it is fun and addictive, and helps when i feel neurotic and twitchy. but i hope you do all those things.

  5. Since I generally don’t get to sleep before 2:00 am, there’s barely any morning in my day, let alone morning ritual. When I do rise early, my only ritual is to pour cereal in a bowl for my daughter and collapse on the couch. Not very inspiring. I’m hoping to change my work schedule soon so that I work days instead of nights and then maybe I”ll have the chance for a morning routine.

    It’s so funny that you mentioned Ghost Dog. I just came across that the other day on Netflix and was curious.

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