Life Skills

Fern has mastered the most important one.

Some small animals, like skunks, defend themselves with noxious scent glands. Others, like Opossums, roll up and play dead in the hopes that you will go away. It is not uncommon for little creatures, like butterflies or male peacocks, to have eyespots so as to appear far larger and more threatening than they are.

So it makes sense that, before she has learned to use the potty, to eat a meal without landing half of it on her shirt and the other half on the floor, or to respond rationally to simple questions like, “Would you like a glass of water?” without screaming “NO!” and running down the hall in tears….that she would be practiced in the ancient art of self defense.

Although what she is defending against is unclear. Boredom? Parental seriousness?

Useful in multiple situations, the practice of Vestri Visio est Vix (your face is scary) is done in play, in order to perfect before a needful moment.

The exhibition of teeth is particularly important to show ferocity.

I’m pretty sure I heard the monsters under our bed packing their bags and leaving in the middle of the night.

I hope all you east coasters managed to stay dry over the weekend. Leave a comment and tell me what your experience of the hurricane was. Did you go without power or transportation? Was any part of it fun or interesting? From my past experience, sometimes intense weather can stir things up, not necessarily in a bad way…leaving the comfort zone can be refreshing.

The protests against the Tar Sands in Washington are continuing. The Obama administration is still looking for a way to say “yes” to the pipeline and although the demonstrations finally got front page coverage in the NY Times, the article panders to the oil company propaganda. Here is another petition to sign through CREDO mobile, whose president is at the protests today, willing to risk arrest. I am still writing letters.

Let’s go, team brave hearts! Happy Monday.


2 thoughts on “Life Skills

  1. Nothing serious happened in my neighborhood.

    The buses and subways are running again. There was some wind damage, parts of Manhattan were flooded. None of it effected me except that, because of the hype, the lack of transportation, and the fear of ‘mandatory evacuation’ for zone A houses, it was a great time to come together and stay indoors – something that New Yorkers seem to have a problem with.
    Everyone here goes ‘out’ so often, that to be cooped up inside is like punishment for a lot of people. So the overwhelming theme was for people to was like everyone was pretending to prepare for a natural disaster, when they were actually just stocking up on booze, snacks, indoor activities, and friends. Hurricane-themed parties.

    My power didn’t go out. My roommate and I had a couple of friends over, we made banana bread and pizza from scratch, watched movies and talked. Slept a lot.

    Everyone was a little nervous, some people were really scared, but it was kind of a joke. A lot of storefronts taped their windows and hung signs saying “Closed due to hurricane, screw you Irene!” or some variation.
    It was an interesting practice, like a fire or earthquake drill. Most people were not especially effected, and because they are so relieved, they forget that others did suffer from the storm, in other parts of New York and in other states.

    But the worst thing I saw was a giant oak tree (referred to as the Vagina Tree) in McCarren park (northwest Brooklyn) that fell through a wrought-iron fence and landed on a street light, which also fell.

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