Hey Good Lookin’, Whatcha got Cookin’?

Dead animal, that’s what. In my stock pot.

If you were with me way back in 2009 (Holy crow, 2009? I’ve been doing this here thing for that long?) you may remember this post. The dilemma I wrote about then has not abated, and neither have my health issues.

I have been vegetarian for 22 years. Happily, proudly, peacefully vegetarian. Please read the above post for deeper insight (and to nip in the bud any questions about my naivety), but in brief…my reasons have never been righteous. My decision to not eat animals felt less like a choice and more like a necessity. At that time, at the age of 18, my truth was that I could no longer deny how eating sentient beings felt utterly wrong for me. Not in an intellectual way. In a heart and soul way. When I look into the eyes of an animal, I do not find difference or alien otherness. I find commonality, I see the ability to suffer and love and I feel connection. I cannot make a distinction between human animal and other creatures. I would just as soon as eat my dog or my child as I would kill an animal and eat it. As in, I wouldn’t. This ability to find communion with animals is a blessing and in this world of perceived human omnipotence, it is also a curse.

Fast forward all these years later, and another truth is staring me in the face in the form of health conditions that have become chronic and too pesky to ignore any longer. One of the greatest gifts I discovered on my journey through developing body consciousness, was that of  using diet as my foundation for wholeness. Learning to listen through intuition to my body’s needs, I have always known what foods I need (or don’t) to stay in balance. The bitter pill to swallow these past few years is that I have begun to feel malnourished, which is pretty ironic since I eat “better” than anyone I know. How then to reconcile my low blood sugar and feelings of constant hunger? Why is my gut so unhealthy and why do I belch like a 500lb man? I began searching for answers, and I found them, but I have been plugging my ears and going “Lalalalalalalala I can’t hear you”.

I’d been hearing the stories for years. The folks who hit the 20 year mark on being vegetarian and began to notice the diet just wasn’t cutting it anymore, so they started to eat meat again. I would think, “Oh, they just weren’t doing it right, or maybe their reasons were more political than heartfelt.”. Because I had been thriving (or so I thought) on my way of eating, a way of eating that initially had eliminated health problems at the time…acne, FMS symptoms, mood swings…I felt I was living proof of just how viable a vegetarian diet could be.

But the information kept surfacing. The former vegan turned enthusiastic meat eater who wrote a book about it. The naturopaths and herbalists who blanched at how long I had been vegetarian and advised me to look into adding meat protein. The hard admitted truth of the unsustainability of the vegan diet and the self knowledge that eating more cheese would help me pack on the pounds while keeping me hungry. All the friends I trust and admire who look to traditional ways of living off the land and eating whole foods, including their animals, and who exhibit vibrant health. And then there was this book, which I initially hated. Now, it has become my new bible. Everywhere I turned, I began learning about just what my body was missing, and I could no longer “get away” with ingenious substitutions.

But what to do? I still could not and will not kill my own animals for food, and I know too much about animal husbandry to fool myself into thinking that “free range” label means anything. This issue alone could keep me from ever facing a hard shift. But there is one thing that trumps all else, and it is for this reason alone that I am embracing a truly whole foods way of eating.

My daughter. I understand enough about the body and nutrition to know that my former diet could hurt her.

So what am I doing? Did I run out to whole foods and buy a pound of Neiman Ranch? Did I rush to a local cafe to try a maple bacon latte? Did I try a piece of fish and the clouds opened up and my cells sang hallelujah in a chorus?

No. What I am doing is going very, very slowly. Here is what I have done so far.

I am a new convert to the importance of eating bone broth and chicken stock. So far, we have bought  Mary’s Chickens and I have made stock, using it in soups and feeding the meat to Jeff and Fern. Just this step alone has been quite gnarly, from my aversion to the taste and smell to the nightmares of fowl play (sorry). Not to mention the blood that seeped out of the bones when I tried cutting it up to put into the soup pot (Jefffff!!! The bird is bleeding!!! Can you come do this?!). With the stock and bone broth, I am experimenting with making it twice a month, and for two weeks a month eating soups and grains made with stock. We’ll see what the long term effects are. Right now, I am noticing that I do feel more nourished after eating it, but I can’t rule out psychosomatic causes.

But an even bigger shift is my new obsession with eating fermented foods several times a day. Even more than the trace mineral and animal proteins and fats, I have been worried about the apparent inability of my stomach to do its job. So I’m fermenting like it’s going out of style and introducing helpful flora at every meal. And folks, I can’t tell you how much better I feel. I’ve stopped burping. My blood sugar hasn’t been as crazy. My skin is more glowy. As far as lactobacilli is concerned, I’m converted.

Otherwise, I am also soaking my beans with whey or lemon and am forgoing the canned shortcut. I am also soaking grains, since this seems to clear up what I have guessed for years…that grains are indigestible unless you get the protective enzymes off of them. Finally, I have said bye bye to my old friend Earth Balance and canola oil and hellooooo goat butter, olive oil and coconut oil.

In regards to fats, my biggest concern has been weight gain, and this is the last point I want to touch on.

I am beginning to suspect that I was functionally anorexic for years. Well below “normal” weight for my height, I felt pride in being rail thin. I also got major accolades from society on this point, often being told how “lucky” I was, how my body was “perfect”. But I look at old pictures of myself, and I look skeletal. Still, I have shirked from eating more fats because I couldn’t stand the belly or the plump cheeks. I won’t lie and say I’m stoked about the latter. But I look at photos of myself now and I look robust. I look womanly. And girls, I am so fucking sick of worshipping at the altar of self hatred. Time to burn it to the ground.

For the immediate future, I am looking into small farms like Dinner Bell and Green String to source my chicken and beef bones, and am going to see if fermenting, eating good fats and eating stock can clear up my issues. Beyond that, I may look into finding ranchers who engage with their animals on a spiritual level, creating a convenant with them and slaughtering them with love. (I know of two locally.)

Plus, I get to enjoy things like beet kvaas, which tastes like the blood and salt of the earth.

Do you have a similar story to share? I’d love to hear about your personal issues with such matters. xo


30 thoughts on “Hey Good Lookin’, Whatcha got Cookin’?

  1. I was a vegetarian for about five years in my 20’s and then again from 39 to 51. Being a vegan was always too hard core for my body though I tried it several times. Last year I could no longer dismiss feeling hungry after every meal, no matter how much I ate or how much protein I ate. I craved meat, even pausing as I walked by restaurants drinking in the smell of it. My issue was political as well as the idea of it, i.e. oh my god I’m eating a dead animal. So I finally decided to listen to my body and started with my all time fav bacon (no nitrite, small farm kind) and felt better almost immediately. I felt like my whole body sighed in relief. So I’ve allowed myself to eat the kind of meat my body craves and have found (surprise surprise) my body regulates itself. Some weeks I want or need more, some weeks I don’t want or need any. I feel much happier since I made the change, just feels like eating has become much more pleasurable.

    1. yes! it’s that self regulating thing that i hope will happen. even just from eating the stocks, that nagging sense of alarm from my body has totally dissipated. and also the pleasure thing…i added in goat cheese and eggs years ago when all though of food began to flatline for me. i couldn’t stand to look at grains and beans…i added in the dairy and everything went back to technocolor. lately, the greyout has started again, and i sadly think i know what it is this time.

      thanks for sharing your journey, i loved hearing it.

  2. i love meat. i could never handle being a veggie. i was one for about…five minutes back in highschool, but it just has never felt normal to me. my big homosapien brain needs meat. i hope your food journey works out and yu find a nice place to be where your body feels like it’s getting what it needs and you can still follow your personal ideals.

  3. Really interesting and informative post, Mary. I too am on a journey of discovery with food and the body issues wrapped up in eating, what to eat, where to get it from, etc. All I can say is, you’re following your heart…and your gut. Sounds like you’re on the right path FOR YOU. And that’s what’s most important.

    You felt functionally anorexic…there’s a new-ish diagnosis of orthorexia, being too obsessed with eating “healthy.” It resonates with me, as I come from a milieu of women who are genuinely concerned with how food impacts our bodies and the rest of the earth. AND there’s a lot of body dismorphia in the mix, passed down generationally in my family and absorbed from the toxicity of the culture at large.

    To some extent, I think that toxicity is hard to avoid. As you said, even if your control of food wasn’t entirely about what you look like, you got positive reinforcement about your body from our culture (including subcultures, which really bums me out). It’s all part of the struggle/joyous dance of living in a world with subverted values, living buried under the crush of consumerism, literal toxins, and oppressive cultural detritus (I’m lookin at you, kyriarchy).

    Anyway, congratulations on listening to yourself and taking action in your own way, on your own terms. That is hard to do in this world.

    1. that’s so interesting about the orthorexia! i hadn’t heard of it, but i see it everywhere here in the bay area. i would say i have been right on the cusp of it for a long time…never too fanatical, but concerned. and preach the truth sister…the subculture is just as bad with the whole body image thing…be a ‘goddess’ but be a thin one!

  4. what you’re describing is to a tee what i’ve been experiencing. i consider myself a healthy eater, but i’ve whittled down my options to a few greens and some carrots that i keep around the office. may i have some recipes from you? i’m really interested in the fermented foods! please please?

    1. i would love to share recipes nichole! but you can also find some great ones at the website http://nourishedkitchen.com/ and also on rachel’s site at 6512andgrowing.wordpress.com. give me an email at terrallectualism at gmail dot com and let me know what other recipes you’d like!

  5. While I buy into laying off too much protein(one particular ND I’ve been watching talks convincingly against too much protein being very hard on the kidneys & adrenals) and perhaps going with a period of “detox” and strict veggie or fruitatariansim, especially if one is battling health problems — what I hear here and from a lot of former strict vegetarians is about the same — deficiencies can creep in. I am grateful for the honesty. For example, I’ve heard a few “green juice smoothie” lovers talking about loose teeth or even damage to the enamel, after a long period of just juicing their veggies…. It all seems to boil down to needing to practice intuitive nutrition for our own bodies. And that may be one style for a while, versus another at another time. Not the same for everyone — different styles or tweaks-within-the-styles for different life-stages? My daughter is now 21 and currently vegan. I am definitely going to share this post with her. She has a problem with anemic blood so I do worry about exacerbating that condition with too much protein/ iron avoidance. The “new” buzz in gardening appears to be a growing awareness on adding back rock dust to remineralize our depleted soils — I wonder if that could be another reason “strictly veggie” isn’t completely working? Thank you for giving me much to think about . All the other comments thus far are hugely insightful as well. Best of luck re-strengthening/ nourishing yourself and your family with your new dietary tweaks there, Mary!

    1. yes, i know of two former ‘raw food’ folks whose teeth began to rot out, and perhaps it all goes back to the old adage, ‘everything in moderation’. i think raw cleanses, macrobiotics for a month or a vegan cleanse is great, but i suspect they are not sustainable. especially not without lots of supplements, which is also not sustainable.

      hey, tell your daughter to be sure to cook her food in a cast iron pan. i’ve done so the last 22 years, and i’ve never had a problem with anemia. the iron gets into the food in small amounts. it’s a great trick!

  6. Thinking about this and reading the comments makes me want to add another experience I’ve had with food – my natural tendency in life was to reach for high fat, high calorie foods – but of course everything I read said you should eat salads, fresh veggies and fruits, lean proteins, no butter, etc. So I valiantly tried to “eat healthy”, especially when I was a vegetarian in my 20’s. And most of the time felt awful. And then I discovered doshas and Ayurvedic medicine in my 30’s and it turns out that the high fat, creamy high calorie foods that Americans think are “bad” were perfect for my dosha type which is Vatta. And my cholesterol is amazingly good despite generous amounts of butter and greasy delicious soppresata. Buon appetito a tutti!

    1. i am also primarily vata gianna (although since having fern, my pitta is taking over), i was so stoked to find out that my craving for fats was valid! i had a nice giggle at your enthusiastic buon appetito…i am still remembering the yummy dinner you made us down there.

  7. This is a brilliant post. I want to share it with everyone! I love that you research and learn and ponder before diving in gung-ho. My husband and I don’t eat a lot of meat (my stomach has problems with red meat)…and that suits us – to eat it a couple of times a week. I’m still under the illusion that in NZ, free-range (if accompanied with an SPCA sticker) means free-range and any bacon and chicken we buy is labelled so, but it is f*cking expensive, ridiculously so. It must be extremely hard to eat animals given your feelings about them. Lady it makes me sad to consider that you are right and the rest of us are murderous ignorants. I hear ya on being functionally anorexic…I’ve always been on the cusp of unhealthy/healthy for my BMI which felt like an ACHIEVEMENT- you get so much positive reinforcement being thin…just like you said above. Being thin, was MY thing; I was the thin one. It took a long time to get past that and change my perception….moving to Samoa helped – you aren’t bombarded with media images or surrounded by consumerism (zero consumerism) and thin people over there. In fact, if you’re thin, then the belief is that it is because you can’t afford to eat. My focus changed to being fit and healthy, that was a very big turning point for me and how i viewed myself. and concentrating on overall health has helped me get used to post-baby body changes, that isn’t to say i’m immune though, i absolutely notice weight gain or changes in how my clothes fit . I very quickly try to ignore any niggles about my size or how i look…but it is damn HARD to get used to any adjustment in appearance. I realised the other day that I have been wearing alot of baby-doll/empire line type dresses that flow over my midsection – and I wondered to myself if I’m doing it on purpose to hide it. I certainly feel more comfortable in them, but I don’t like to consider that I’m doing it to hide myself. f*cking adjustment. Positive self talk is the sh*t though…..i swear it works. “oh hello beautiful thighs, don’t you look dandy today!” – people tend to think I’m mad when i tell them to speak nicely to themselves – but I’d rather that than being mean and hateful to myself. Anyway, see you soon! xx

    1. keep eating your chocolate and your wine teeny, that’s an order! 🙂 i am so with you on the baby doll dresses, and i will readily admit to trying to hide my mid section…a big change from my old jeans and wifebeater tank look. i used to accent my hips with awesome belts, now i’m like ‘look at my shoes! look at my hat! no, no, keep your eyes up top!’ since reading this, i have totally started sweet talking my belly and thighs, and it really does make them more endearing.

      i am counting the days til you arrive!! xo

  8. I think it’s definitely important to get enough healthy fats in your diet. The brain needs fats to function. Olive oil and coconut oil are amazing. Nuts are also great, I soak them overnight first so they’re easier to digest. I’ve been researching the exact opposite of you! How meat is BAD for the body. But I think fish is full of health benefits and natural, fresh coconut products are probably one of the best things you can eat for health. I almost went on the candida diet before realizing how unhealthy it would have been. Beans, fruits, quinoa, and good fats are the best and they would’ve been no-no’s. Glad I sought out verifiable, scientific research rather than just taking websites as factual! If I were you I’d probably avoid red meat, even if you’re adding meats back to your diet, because red meat really doesn’t digest well. I’m dairy-free but I agree it’s totally important to get those probiotics in your diet to feed your gut flora. I eat mass amounts of coconut-milk yogurt. I also considered vegetarianism a few years ago, but decided that animals eat other animals and I’m just an animal eating other animals! But I still feel bad about it. Damn empathy.

    1. i doubt i’ll be eating any large amounts of meat anytime soon, and especially not cow, buffalo etc. even just a little bacon nibble has me turned off. coconut oil i know is supposed to be the big hooray, but i am finding that it actually doesn’t sit well with me and i get heartburn. bummer, because it’s so yummy! animals do eat other animals, it’s a truth that makes the world go around. but how it is done, and how that meat lived its life is key i think. thanks for sharing your wisdom. xo

  9. Although a lot of this I can’t necessarily relate to (being a dedicated meat eater) I found this a very interesting post to read (and surprising as well!) what I did want to virtually toast you over is this sentence “And girls, I am so fucking sick of worshipping at the altar of self hatred. Time to burn it to the ground.” Here here!

  10. You could have been describing me in this post down to buying a copy of nourshing traditions. My hubby has been a lazy vegan f

    1. Wow, totally slipped and hit submit too soon… Anyways, hubby lazy vegan for about 15 years and I’ve been veggie for about 7. What finally pushed me to get the book was my 18 month old getting cavities on her brand new itty bitty teeth. The dentist is pushing flouride, but in my gut I really feel like it’s a nutritional deficiency somewhere in our diet. Also, my hubby has all sorts of digestional issues that I think we could work on by changing our “healthy” diet. We cut waaaay back on soy products, which has helped, but I don’t think it’s enough. You mentioned something in a previous post about how coffee messes up the flora in your gut, and that struck a chord with me. For me, I’ve just really been craving meat, but I haven’t given in, cause I’m not mentally ready to start eating meat, and when my chicken bones would start bleeding, I’d have no one to help me out, cause hubby isn’t quite on board yet. I stopped eating meat cause I never really liked the idea of eating animal, and now I know too much to just go to the store and buy a chicken or a hamburger.

      I like your plan of doing the ferments and the soaking and bits of stocks here and there. That seems really doable and hubby would be on board with that no problem. I do need to work on my vegetarian exit strategy. Thanks for the post. I’m going to forward it to hubby!

      1. hi melissa! like you, it was my daughter’s “failure to thrive” as an infant that sent off the dietary alarms for me. it was due to many factors, but it was a hard core reality that made me take a discerning look at my diet and beliefs. i am so with you on the dilemma around protein, soy and digestion. what to do? i think ferments is a great first step, and hopefully getting that sorted will allow you to leave the animals to themselves. bleeding bones indeed! i don’t wish that on anyone. 😉

  11. i am closing in on 22 years as a vegetarian (mostly lacto, sometimes ovo-lacto) and cannot relate. i have never craved meat or felt malnourished in its absence. when i was a toddler, i would cry if someone put hamburger on my plate. i never fought for the drumstick on thanksgiving or from the barbeque. i became vegetarian amidst a new awareness of animal rights, but it was a very easy change because i had already struggled to eat animals long before i connected the animals to the food. through two pregnancies (gained 50 lbs each time), all of my blood work was favorable–at one point one nurse practitioner wanted to know what i was eating that made my numbers so impressively healthy. given the choice, i have always preferred to eat a ton of beans (always soaked) and other legumes. i could also subsist–though not quite as healthily–on fresh baguette and butter or olive oil. (and chocolate!) my children are now 10 and 11 years old, have never eaten meat of any kind, and they are bright, strong, and healthy. i am not saying that my way is best for everybody, but it works for me. maybe the point is to listen to our bodies’ wisdom, rather than believing there is one best way for all of us to eat? i hope you find your best way to feeling nourished and healthy.

    1. it occurs to me that i was feeling a little defensive after reading the post and comments. i just had to holler and represent for my happy vegetarian peeps 😉

      1. i hear that nicole and i totally get it. i’ll post more about it later, but by NO MEANS was i getting down on vegetarian peeps. (unless we’re talking about those marshmallow things, but i assume we’re not 😉 ). my story with vegetarianism is very kin to yours…except for the healthiness part. and i think that is actually due to other things, not the lack of meat. anyway, i felt really dismayed/frustrated that my post created some defensiveness for you, since i actually think our hearts are in alignment. much respect to you and big yes to keeping ourselves healthy via intuition. xoxo

  12. great post mary! healthful food is a serious passion of mine and i rarely talk about it on my blog. i have no idea why! i guess i’ve always figured no one would be interested, but i think i’m totally wrong about that. you have inspired me to post about it more often!

    i’m making my first batch of sauerkraut today!! i’m sooo excited. i just listened to a talk by dr. natasha campbell with dr. mercola all about fermenting. it was fabulous. i’ve known how important incorporating fermented foods into one’s diet is ,so i’m glad i finally am getting to it. i really like nourishing traditions. there is so much wonderful information in that book. i see you made beet kvaas. i think i need to make that too 😀 have you made kombucha yet? my friend always has some fermenting, i love that stuff!

    i’ve always been a meat eater so i can’t really say much about your transition. i guess i’ve always figured that animals eat other animals. i of course try and get the best meat possible. i’ve watched and read enough to understand the state of most meat and how the animals are treated horribly and fed grains and all that. i by no means support that but i think eating meat is vital for optimal health. good luck with these huge changes in your life, may vibrant health be in your near future!

    1. the beet kvaas is so good, i highly recommend! i have to admit, i am scared of sauerkraut, since i’ve never liked it before…however, i’ve never had it done ‘the real’ way, so maybe i’ll be converted. my housemate just started a batch of kombucha…she was scared of the baby, it was so weird looking!

      yes please on more posts about your style of staying healthy and eating…i will be a faithful reader, for sure!

  13. i feel exactly like nicole! wow, i can’t believe how similar our stories are, and i too have been a veg for about 20 years now. so far, so great as far as pregnancy goes too! darin and i are blessed not to have any bothersome troubles with health or bodily issues so this lifestyle and diet is working great for us and i hope it continues to as our daughter grows. it is so interesting to see all the different perspectives here. i’ll be honest, the book nourishing traditions overwhelms me. i started reading it and couldn’t really get what she was trying to say or where to begin or how her ideas are “better” than others, although i know a lot of friends swear by that book. i just feel like everyone has different approaches to eating and nutrition and we are so lucky to be able to choose our diets so distinctly. best of luck to you and your sweet family in your endeavors; i will be so interested to see how it plays out.

    1. i too hope the veg diet continues to work for your family, and i suspect it will! jeff is one of those people who can eat anything and thrive, and we often puzzle over my health and diet and the way that just a little of the wrong thing makes me nauseas for days. i think if you are already starting with a healthy system, being veg can be viable for a whole lifetime. i thought it would be for me too…hopefully it will be mostly, with just a little tweaking here and there.

      nourishing traditions was frustrating for me at first, and i refused to pick it up again for years. while i still take what she says with a grain of salt, i am loving the ‘back to basics’ style she suggests.

  14. Hi Mary, as you know I’ve been out of town 😉 and so am late to comment, but I just wanted to say that first off I’m very impressed by the cohesiveness and courage of this post. Writing about food these days can feel like a huge minefield one is trying to cross without loosing arm, leg, credibility and friends. Speaking of friends, I gotta say I’m shocked, shocked by how many of our friends are vegetarian! I had no idea. Goes to show that blogging leaves gaps in knowledge, i guess

    I too have been vegetarian (ovo-lacto-pisca-lax at different stages) for most of my life. Like Nicole, I always found the taste of meat unpalatable, safe for a few select things and while we always ate some fish when I was growing up, I preferred fruits and vegetables. Around the age of 15 I went fully vegetarian for a number of years, though like Nicole my budding awareness of animal rights was as equally important to the process as the fact that meat just didn’t taste good to me.

    I’ve always been okay with eggs, especially since organic eggs became more available and while I don’t drink milk, I’ve always eaten a lot of yogurt (again organic). I’d eat fish if it was around, but rarely bought it or sought it out. I never felt my diet was insufficient in terms of nutrition and have always had the conviction that your body knows exactly what it needs (unless it keeps asking for oreos). In fact, when I got accidentally pregnant at 23 I found that I craved meat and ended up eating copious amounts of ground beef, the only thing my body recognized as meat.

    Fast forward 8 years when I moved to US, and more specifically, the country. What can I say? We have friends who are chicken farmers, friends who are sheep and cattle farmers, fishermen…Everybody hunts. There is meat everywhere and it is all, as far as I can tell, pretty happy right until the moment of slaughter (that’s without getting into the hairy territory of vaganism and just looking at meat from the ills-of-industrial-farming point of view). AND IT TASTES GOOD. I know. That was certainly a surprise for me.

    I also started to keep chickens for eggs and discovered just how complex that bond of producing your own food and imprisoning others for it, all the while ensuing the continued existence of those individuals and their species is. But that’s another story.

    Still, ample venison and lamb burger wasn’t enough to completely sway me. I did find that the latter was more my ideal meat than anything I’d ever tasted before and tentatively added it to my diet a couple times a month. Mostly, I saved my meat consumption for parties; a small morsel of venison and salt, a half a burger split with hubby, a piece of chicken from a stew…and that might have all stayed the same if I hadn’t gotten sick last year.

    Now in my recovery period, with depleted immune and a host of weird health issues, I’m finding myself drawn to meat. I’m still utterly clueless (and happily so) about anything but ground lamb, broth and the very occasional chicken and only really eat meat about 5 times a month, but I crave it now.
    I’m also very drawn to fat and eat copious amounts of fatty milk from out cow share and even dip into store bought (happy, organic) whipping cream on occasion.

    And I’m not alone. In the past six months I’ve had a lot of formerly vegetarian friends turn partially omnivorous. Be it from personal health issues (at least one had a moldy home like me), or fallout from something bigger, it seems that meat is our emergency food of choice. And perhaps that’s all it is. A transitional food, something to tide us over and strengthen us, but whatever reason, fret not, you’re not alone. I’m right here with ya, thawing lamb burger for dinner 😉

    Thanks so much for posting this!

    1. i’m laughing at the line that our bodies know what they need “unless it keeps asking for oreos”. ha!!

      i would like to hear more about your experience of keeping chickens for eggs. we raised chickens growing up, but they were completely free range on three acres and roosted in a tree at night. the eggs were a byproduct of their excellent company. 😉

      of all the meats i crave, venison is the number one, funny enough. i didn’t each much of it as a kid…but our neighbors sometimes brought over venison salami, and i still remember my ecstasy…and curiosity….when eating it. lamb and veal are the meats that gained me sympathy with my mom when i refused to eat meat as a kid…she couldn’t find a good argument for getting me to eat baby animals. but i could also see how lamb would be so so good…and like the venison…if that’s what the body says is good, when so little else is, then you gotta go with it.

      i would like to join up with a cow share type of thing, when we move to our “permanent” home. i’m also laughing at the whipping cream…”but i need it! my body says i need fat!” mmmm…whipping cream…and it’s strawberry season too!

      i like the idea that meat is a transitional food, used to heal and nourish after sickness. the thinking around diets seems to be the opposite…vegetarian when cleansing, S.A.D. for the everyday. this line of thought is so much more sacred too…entering into covenant with an animal, giving thanks for how it heals you. beautiful. xoxox

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