One Year

“We who choose to surround ourselves
with lives even more temporary than our
own, live within a fragile circle;
easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps,
we would still live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only
certain immortality, never fully
understanding the necessary plan.”

-Irving Townsend

My love for you Leo, is immortal as well. Sometimes the grief has felt like it is too, and at the times where I touch into its core, the floorboards open beneath me and I am swimming in the collective tears of all who have loved and lost.

It is only just beginning, but sometimes I can remember you, or sense you close, and feel mostly a bittersweet joy, without the self-blame or deep sorrow.

Most of all, my life has been irrevocably changed by your parting gift to me. The embedded priority to respond in Love.

Always, in love.

Always.

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9 thoughts on “One Year

  1. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” – C.S. Lewis

    I’m so glad you’re beginning to be able to remember the good without the memory feeling tinged with negativity. I think Leo would, too.

    xo

  2. he had such a sweet little mug. i’m sorry for your loss and i understand how much it can hurt to lose a pet and a friend. *pours a 40 oz out for Leo*

  3. what an amazing spirit he is. i LOVE the words you chose here and could not agree more wholeheartedly, and with the c.s. lewis quote from sara above as well. having a baby has made me even more tender and loving toward my two cats if that is even possible. i feel so endeared to them for having been babies, for their mamas having birthed them, for growing personalities and having needs and figuring things out and learning to trust and be sweet and make friends and share love. animals are capable of soooo much greatness if we let them into our hearts. they expand our worlds and make us wise and vulnerable and broken and grateful. sending you the sweetest love today, friend.

  4. whew. that picture of leo……and knowing your love and relationship with him…makes my heart swell and the tears flow now. sending love to you through the wires….and love to leo through the stars.

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