Pushing the Sun Across the Sky

Popular interpretation in modern academia theorizes the hieroglyphic (the language of Egyptians) image of the beetle represents a triliteral phonetic that Egyptologists transliterate as xpr or ḫpr and translate as “to come into being”, “to become” or “to transform”.

Where am I?

Nose to the grindstone, each day the sun rises and falls, marked by incremental minutia. I organize my tasks in my new Franklin Planner (One of the seven secrets of highly successful people. Apparently I still need to learn the other six.) and check off the baby steps towards a higher goal that looms so large I can’t quite make it out. Each morning I sit before the computer during my writing time and I feel scratchy, scrapey. Yesterday I had extra time and spent all of it in research, filling up my notebook with mad scribblings, my bookmark folder with lists of web references. But no story was woven, and all those thoughts still reside within, crowding my internal creative space like piles of yarn waiting to come into being as a tapestry. I think often of Virginia Woolf’s concept of A Room of One’s Own and live the metaphor, or lack thereof. I think too, of this interminable Saturn transit I’m in, Saturn being the god of No Fun, who hovers around the cubicle of my life like this guy…

quick-fix-movie-to-watch-office-space-image
Let’s take the day off and watch this movie, whaddya say?

Sometimes I wonder if you, dear readers, are ever confused, as I pick up threads and then lose them just as quickly. If you are wondering What ever happened about that _________. That house hunt, those questions about the educational path for Fern, the Keystone XL Pipeline, moving through earth grief, that quest for a better diet, that astrology class, and whatever happened to sussing out terrallectualism from a pro blog? Yeah, I wonder too. Here, wait, let me check my planner…

It’s all in the mix, and hoo boy, what a mix.

IMG_0360
Friends of the Library had their big sale this weekend at Fort Mason, so this is about 1/4 of the books in my current nightstand rotation.

I’m taking in information, but I have yet to disseminate it. I would use the metaphor of gestation, but it’s not the best fit, and the feeling is more like mulling. Gathering materials and waiting. I know that the muse will revisit. I know that I’m waiting for something. And in the meantime I do the saturnian work, paying attention to details, being orderly, setting myself up for a successful launch, yet I’m not sure what the boat is going to look like. Or maybe I’m building wings. Or a rocket. At night I have dreams about Osiris, limbs being thrown to the four directions and then I am Isis, wandering the universe looking for missing pieces. Collecting and working. Working. Working. I awake in the morning and my great golden friend flashes across my eyes, right before they open and see the dawning sky, my daughter’s face.

And so another day begins and I hunker down with fierce determination that seems like its required yet brings no satisfaction. I check off to dos on my list, I write down my inspirations, I concoct curriculum for classes without being quite sure when I will offer them and enter all my internship hours onto the correct forms, crossing my fingers and holding on to the thread of hope that whispers Maybe I will be licensed by this time next year.

scarabstele
This friend sauntered through my imagination this morning, as I sat mulling.

While Dung Beetle (Scarab) behavior is diverse among species, with some never rolling their food into balls, but rather just hanging out around the pile, many species do create a poop orb and take it away from the crowd. Getting the ball back to their burrow to eat takes herculean focus, and once there, they consume it in entirety. You would think they’d take a well deserved rest after all this, but instead they head right back out to the pile and do it all over again.

dung-beetle

These creatures need to be fast on their feet too, since some beetles are industrious and others just loaf around, waiting for some buggy else to do the work, and then stealing their shit. After forming their ball, dung beetles climb on top of their mound and circle a few times, after which they quickly climb down and head off in the definite direction of their burrow or tunnel. Scientists have recently figured out that the mounting and circling is how the beetles get up high enough to get a good view of the night sky, where they orient themselves to the Milky Way in order to get back home.


Of course you’ve seen this clip from Microcosmos? Either way, it’s so worth the watch.

The mythology of the scarab is directly related to its behavior of rolling dung balls up and down hills. The beetle faced god Khepri was considered to be the force that was responsible for the movement of the sun across the sky, beneath the horizon and the subsequent dawn.

Circling around to find orientation in a dark sky, then pushing a giant ball of life giving shit up a hill, in alignment with the greater forces of cyclic movement. You’re getting my metaphor, right? Come into being.

So where am I? Here, friends. I trust all will be revealed in time, but for now I ask you to step into the darkness with me. This space will probably continue to be something of a mystery, but it has been my experience that in the sharing and the witnessing comes the discovery of our own Milky Way.

In mutuality and adventure, with love,
Mary

P.S. A couple of you asked in the last post if I will ever offer paid astrology readings. You bet! That’s in my planner too. At some point in the near future I will have a small, separate astro blog, that will have some sort of ‘shop’ section, with readings and online workshops. Hoo boy, it’s all in the mix. xoxo

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2 thoughts on “Pushing the Sun Across the Sky

  1. i don’t find it confusing at all, mary. i love following all your threads, however much or little you might share of each one. remember, none of us wants to go and read about how other gals have got it all figured out and organized and shiny and polished. we all come here because you keep it so real. and funny- balls of life-giving shit and gods of no fun. hehe.

  2. I, for one, am happy to catch up on whichever thread you choose to pick up in this space. I also second earthhuggy2. It is your space, do what you like here!

    Can I just add one little thought. Be careful not to spread yourself too thin. I have been busy making many, many pies to put my fingers in. Some of those pies are now a bit yucky… well actually just massive balls of stress, stealing me away from the balls of life-giving shit! I am in the process of letting go of some massive time stealers and trying to focus on what really, truly makes my eyes light up.

    For years I’ve found it difficult to focus on what it is I really want because there is just so much cool stuff out there to try! But I’m trying to recognise what is worth my time.

    Sorry for the essay, but this post is (as uncannily usual) is quite timely for me xxx

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